Before moving to Berlin, I knew how difficult it would be to find an apartment. One of the first questions you get asked after introducing and outing yourself as freshly new here is: “…and have you found an apartment yet?” or “and where are you living?” or, my favorite, the gleam of pity in their eyes when you say you’ve found something temporarily but are still looking for something more permanent. I’m convinced I will never escape this question as long as I live here. I’ll be 68 years old, living in Zehlendorf, beating this question away in an involuntary visit from the chimney sweep.

I’m currently living in Friedrichshain, which is a great place to live if you don’t mind hearing ghostly screaming at odd hours of the evening. Not to mention visiting the local REWE (supermarket) is like stepping 80 years into the past, where public urination and defecation are expected and tolerated at all hours of the day. This is to say, and I’d probably still stay here if I found an affordable place to live.

I’ve been putting off the apartment search for some time because I get anxious easily. I am worried that I won’t find something I like or can afford in time to move out of my current place. What if it’s outside of the Ringbahn? I will have to find a new Döner place—just after I found this one that puts feta cheese on it—feta!

I tend to put these types of decisions off until I am no longer able to procrastinate. On some level, I need the pressure of being potentially homeless to have the drive to push through the arduous process of looking for an apartment. It also doesn’t help to hear of just how many people are also looking for apartments at the same time as you and who are probably more motivated to find a place since their leases are already up and are having similar luck. Although most people are simply looking for a room, it still doesn’t help to ease the stress.

The picture I included in this blog is a photo I took a few weeks ago on my walk home from Warschauer Straße S-Bahn station, not too far from my apartment. My first thought when I saw that the apartment had caught fire was, “I wonder if it’s available now…I should look up the super’s number.” Which, on further inspection, is quite the metaphor for the state of the Berlin apartment market right now. On fire.

I recently read an article in the Berlin paper about a family who has been looking for an apartment for over two years, they are five people living in three rooms—and the parents have been sleeping in the living room. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in this apartment chaos, but I think I would be well on my way to Brandenburg if I had to spend two years searching for an apartment.

Sometimes I wonder if living in Berlin just means waiting. Waiting for a job offer, an appointment at the Ausländerbehörde or for Anmeldung, getting into the club, the toilet at the club, the self-checkout line on Saturday night at 8:30, Burgermeister at Schlesisches Tor, a doctor’s appointment when you are sick, the line at an apartment showing you don’t even want, and getting an actual place to live. It starts to feel a bit sadistic, all this waiting.

So, if you know anyone who knows anyone who knows something about an empty apartment—send it over my way. :)